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This distinctive attitude and its charms may be due, in part, to the fact that every butch knows full well that she doesn't look the way most people expect women to look, and yet she's found the confidence to persevere in spite of the side-eyes and the disapproving thin-lipped faces of people marching past, eyes averted. In order to treat this question with the seriousness it deserved, I took the liberty of asking some of the more feminine, more conventionally attractive, lesbians of my acquaintance just what it is that makes butchness so darned irresistible.
“It's like a pheremonic, energetic, physical thing,” my friend Madeline of the band Unstraight (or Ashley Blum when she's not rocking), told me. Short hair, or mohawks, the way [butch women] dress, the way they wear their clothes, that attitude ... I can't even tell you.” The reason it seems so unlikely that many lesbian and bi women find butches attractive is that the commonly understood meaning of “attractive” is nearly synonymous with “gender-conforming,” especially for women.
“On profiles, it only appears 0.3% of the time with people explicitly stating what it is they are looking for.
In the social feed section of the app, it comes up 0.5% of the time, people looking to chat or hang out with people of a similar type.
I enjoy time out with my dogs, travel, cooking, eating out, a few drinks in the local pub, sport and spending time with friends. I love to have a laugh and can give as good as I get, I'm always up for a dance, in the car, at a I love all things to do with Nature but I'm not athletic.
I am NOT into head games but I am into genuine, honest people.
Umbrage-taking aside, however, the question raises the issue of whose standards of beauty apply in a queer female context. In fact, butch lesbians often do quite well when it comes to attracting female attention.
Better than our straight butch peers, at any rate: I have a friend who is straight, masculine-of-center, and perpetually aggrieved by how often women seek her out and flirt with her, as compared with the men she's actually interested in.
I enjoy the beach, reading, movies/theatre/concerts, travel, world events, cuddles with my pooch Luna and hanging with my little humans (nephew and nieces). About me I worked in health for 20 years and just before my 40th birthday I had a major life change. I'm an old school romantic, and believe the best relationships I have a unique sense of humour, a shining smile and enchanting blue eyes. I really enjoy fitness, I am a basketball coach who enjoys most sports. I will love your hair and the way you smell, the way you carry yourself. Im a true Tauren, generous, dependable and down to earth.But once you know, well, there’s a lot to discover. When I started dating the first woman I ever dated (shout out to my wife), I was moderately terrified.I didn’t know how to be, what to say, what to touch and when to touch it.Instead, there is scrutiny over the racist, fatphobic, and other insults masquerading as “sexual preferences” on their profiles.This made me curious about the way queer women use apps like Tinder and HER and if we are, in essence, doing the same things in the way that we specify “no butches,” “feminine women only,” “no ghetto chicks” and other statements in order to ward off prospective partners who we don’t see as “our type.” “I have seen apps/sites that allow you to specify ethnicity, race, weight preference, etc.,” says Lauren Hamilton, a frequent dating app user. I don’t want to waste time sending a message to a woman who prefers skinny, white women when I am certainly not that.”I asked the founder of HER, Robyn Exton, how many women specify the kind of appearance they are looking for in their profiles.“It’s a much smaller percentage than you might imagine,” she said.